Captain’s log: A day or 2 after 4 July 2019; somewhere in
I-20 headed west to Texas
Who would have thought Independence Day would have caused
such an outrage? All across social media and news outlets, from talking heads
and pundits, celebrities and unknowns, indignation was widespread. What have
we, a nation once proud of its independence and freedom, evolved into? This
non-issue really shouldn’t be a big deal. To think that the actions of one
person could cause such an uproar was unheard of a year or two ago. I guess,
that’s where we are in our tech-dependent country. I guess I should apologize
for ruining everyone’s Fourth of July.
If I’d known not writing a blog for the most recent holiday
would have had such negative repercussions, I would have made a more focused
effort to publish some words of wisdom. Alas, I remained silent out of necessity
and convenience, not having a clue that no blog from me would send the U.S. of A. into
utter turmoil.
My country, please forgive me.
In my defense, I was busy, y’all. I’ve mentioned this
before. I figured all of you were too busy to want to read my musings. Well, I
was wrong. While I was extremely busy lazing about in the pool, grilling meat, making
margaritas, and drinking margaritas (told you I was BUSY), Nike was pulling my
sponsorship, Ted Cruz was denying any association with me, Alec Baldwin was
appearing on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” in efforts to arrange Hollywood boycotts of my
blog. I even heard there was a march or something in D.C., complete with tanks.
Everybody take a deep breath.
Even Betsy Ross took a break from her sewing to enjoy some
time in the township’s swimming hole on a giant swan float, a hard cider in one
hand and a grilled mutton role in the other.
In an effort to appease the masses and correct our
perspective, here you go:
Lots of you still have fireworks left from the 4th,
correct? If not, all those stands that miraculously pop up at the end of June
and advertise the "lowest prices, period" still have lots of product in stock,
probably at buy 1 get 35 free. If you’re into an amateur, self-created,
life-limb-and-property-endangering pyrotechnic extravaganza, then grab a bag full of
rockets, poppers, flares, and cherry bombs, a lighter, and your imagination and
read further.
If you’re more of oyster than a pearl, and prefer to watch
the show, you can read further as well.
If you’re a dog, you’ll probably not appreciate this post.
 |
| Image courtesy of Amazon.com |
Jimmy Buffett is a self-proclaimed pyromaniac. Not
criminally. He just enjoys a good fire, especially if it involves sending rockets
soaring through the night sky, exploding into tails and blasts of various
colors.
On his 1995 Barometer
Soup album, he sings about a time he had the opportunity to be a guest
bombardier on the island of St. Maarten with some friends who own a fireworks
company in the French Antilles. That song is titled “The Night I Painted theSky.” No cryptic message here. Just a neat way to think about how our lower
atmosphere looks at this time of year.
 |
| Image from CD booklet from Barometer Soup |
So, sneak this tune into your patriotic playlist (maybe
replace “Born in the USA” or “Pink Houses,” which are not all that
complimentary of the American way) and enjoy the nighttime canvas a little
while longer.
Now, can we all just get along?
Aloha, amigos and God Bless America!
No comments:
Post a Comment