Showing posts with label jimmy buffett. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jimmy buffett. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 7, 2019

MMTT4S - Scorching Sand, Drip Castles, UV Rays, and Inflatable Canvas Bronc Busting

Captain's Log: Started 23 July 2019, ended 6 August 2019; Beachside

Surfside Beach is just north of Garden City and just south of Myrtle Beach and east of land and west of the sea. It sits in the middle of South Carolina's Grand Strand. And it is grand indeed. This is a home for me. Spending my summers here at my grandparent's ocean front house, named Surf Pearl, etched salt air on my skin and injected salt water in my veins. I became a beach bum as soon as I could walk. In fact, Granny held my hand as I chased the waves back and forth, squealing with a mix of delight and trepidation as the foamy water rushed to grab my toes. As I grew, the beach became the ultimate summer experience. My siblings and I perfected beach playtime, the result of lots of practice spanning weeks at a time. 

Have you ever built a drip castle? We built lots of 'em. It's like a sand castle, but doesn't require tools - a sort-of poor kid's castle. You use wet sand and you let it drip from your fingers as you shape lumpy spires and walls. I think the movie set of Mordor in Lord of the Rings was modeled after one of my drip castles. Buckets and shovels are for the less adept.

My brothers and I would mount our trusty, albeit skin-eating, canvas rafts as we bested the ocean wave rodeo. These rafts were made of some space age denim that would repel salt water, shells, and shark attacks. No cheap plastic rafts for us. No sir. Dad was only buying rafts once every ten years and these were the puppies to make that span. Every night, our legs were chafed and nipples worn completely off. That, combined with the sunburn that tends to accompany the combo of 8 hours of sun exposure and no sunscreen, made showers straight up torture. The nightly ritual of painful washing was followed by the Solarcaine lineup, when Mom would douse our glowing red shoulders, tummies, and feet with that inexplicable spray that burned, cooled, and rubberized within about 5 seconds. The window unit in our bedroom was a welcome relief when we went to bed. By the time we awoke, though, we were buried under our covers as the room was an igloo. Had a timelapse camera been installed in the upper corner of our room, it would have revealed the bizarre migration of the Red-backed Whipper Snapper - going from completely on top of the sheets and blankets in only a pair of pajama shorts to total burial beneath all nearby coverings, including clothes, towels, pillows, curtains, and anything else within reach. We'd have burrowed down into the mattress had we been able. Oddly enough, the layer of ice that tried to encapsulate our bodies would immediately melt from the heat radiating from our sunburns. Amazing how nature works, huh?

We logged hundreds of miles walking to, and out onto, the Surfside pier. This occurred at least twice daily. After all, you could only bronco bust waves for so long and drip castle building was quite taxing on our creativity. I'll never forget walking across those old beams and their wet wooden smell. The surface temperature on that pier was a couple of degrees from being too hot for bare feet. That meant that bare feet were fine in our minds. Always on the lookout for discarded fish hooks and casting pier anglers, we'd go from rail to rail to watch the crusty old salts try to land a keeper. I remember how peaceful it was when we reached the end of the pier. The roar of the waves was a distant hum. No squeals, yells, and the general murmur of a crowd could be heard out there. The occasional lap of a wave against a piling or the call from a seagull were the only sounds to accompany the views of darker waters and endless vistas that stretched for 180 degrees. I often long to be there in that unique tranquility. Our trek to the end of the pier and back always increased in speed, though, as the heat on our feet finally started to register in our brains. I guess salt water veins may numb the body's nerves.

Speaking of heat - the scorching bright white sand that led up to the pier always presented a problem. Akin to the "the floor is hot lava" game, the white sand predicament was a challenge that could not be overcome, and it was real. Eventually, we'd just decide to make a run for it, usually after soaking our feet at the water's edge. I think the presoak kept a layer or two of skin on our feet. Otherwise, we'd have been walking on bones by the time we reached the pier - quite possibly our knee bones. This sand was a few degrees from becoming glass and is the hottest known naturally occurring substance known to man. Hotter than lava. Hotter than fish grease. Hotter than black vinyl car seats in August, but just barely. By about the third day, the bottom of our feet would peel. Off. In small wisps of skin chips. I guess our feet were prepping for the next day's battle, like sending in wave after wave of battalions, hoping at some point the war would end and peace would once again reign in Soleland. Our skin reproductive capabilities were truly tested during the summer.

Somehow, overnight our burns would become bronze glows, the soles of our feet would rejuvenate, our chaffed groins would heal, and our nipples would regrow - just in time to recreate the whole debilitating process the very next day. A pattern that repeated incessantly throughout the summer.

It's what we did as kids. And it was glorious.

I'll take it over video games and cell phones any day.

Floridays
Image courtesy of Amazon.com
Since you've accompanied me on this long ride on memory wave, I'll reward you with a Buffett tune. "Floridays" is the title track from Jimmy's 1986 album and it reflects a desire to get away to the coast and, possibly, the good ol' days - before life's responsibilities produced the hectic busy-ness that it seems to do for most of us. Once again, the escapist's pursuit. While Buffett has done quite well preaching "the gospel from the coast," those "blue skies and ultraviolet rays" of his Floridays have enticed me my entire life, way before I'd ever heard of Jimmy Buffett. Even though he mentions Florida and a spot "on the corner of 'Walk' and 'Don't Walk' somewhere on US1," these Floridays really apply to any days on the coast. So, today's tropical tune offers a version of the heartfelt refrain that glides through my mind when I long for the beach, often the beach of my youth.

Aloha, amigos!


Sunday, August 4, 2019

MMTT4S - I've Seen More Than I Can Recall


Captain’s Log: Summertime; As Willie says, “On the road, again.”

Aloha, amigos!

Miss me?

That’s what I thought. Of course you did. You see, in my Walter Mitty-esque brain, thousands of you have been wondering where my irregularly scheduled blog has been lately. Many of you are worried that I may have taken ill or gotten eaten by a shark. Some of you are panicked at the thought of carrying on much longer without my words of wisdom. A few of you are walking around in an audio-less stupor, not knowing what Jimmy Buffett song you should listen to.  To the masses of my readers, please accept my humble apology. I’ve been busy.

Having a restful and rejuvenating summer doesn’t register in my mind. When I’m greeted by colleagues with a greeting of, “I hope you’re well-rested and revitalized after the summer break,” I just stare back and try to mouth a reply, but nothing comes out.

I liken my time off to my hall closet – I try to cram as much into it as possible.

During the summer, I keep my “need to’s” to a minimum, completely ignore my “should’s,” and focus on my “want to’s” while carefully considering my “able to’s.”

That means I engage my gypsy soul by hitting the road.

Surfside Beach
DCI in Atlanta
Upon our recent return from Texas, I’ve been to Surfside Beach with my wife, son, and parents for a getaway; to Atlanta with my wife and son to see an amazing display of talent at the Drum Corps International Southeastern Regional Championships; to Wrightsville Beach with my wife to spend some time on the beach and water there with some dear friends; to Atlanta (again) with my fam to catch a Braves game and visit the College Football Hall of Fame; and back to Surfside tonight with my family to close out the summer (shhhh – don’t remind me). Those are my “want to’s” that have been influenced by my “able to’s.” In between, I’ve visited Bat Cave and Lake Murray to clean houses. Those are my “need to’s,” which help provide my “able to’s.”

Wrightsville Beach
Go Bravos!











In any case, I’ve been on the move and I love it. I’m not a homebody, that’s for sure. While I don’t return rested and relaxed, I do experience a change in attitude – no daily grind, no same ol’ scenery, no chores that I’ve put off for far too long. Life is just better out and about.

Changes in Latitudes Changes in Attitudes
Image courtesy of Amazon.com
Today’s tropical tune is “Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes” – a Jimmy Buffett classic. It’s one of those non-negotiables at his concerts – songs that must be played to prevent a Parrot Head riot. It was originally released in 1977on his fantastic album by the same title. The song sticks to Buffett’s autobiographical formula that has worked well for him for years. The same formula that has created the Buffett persona that has driven the whole Margaritaville mystique and escapist empire. Although my own latitudes unfortunately haven’t varied much this summer (thanks to my “able to’s”) my summer location has been on a constant shift. This continual state of being on the go gets only a few moments of reprieve and reflection. And that’s fine with me. Like the song says, “…yesterday’s over my shoulder. So, I can’t look back for too long. There’s just too much to see waiting in front of me, and I know that I can’t go wrong.” Well, I can certainly go wrong, and often do, but that doesn’t stop me. Like, Buffett, who has been a worldwide troubadour since day one of his career, the relentless journeys satisfy some innate traveling jones of mine, produce more smiles and laughter, and, yet, seem a bit senseless to some. But, as Jimmy sings, “If we weren’t all crazy, we would go insane.”

Truth.

Aloha, amigos!



Corso's replacements


Monday, July 22, 2019

MMTT4S - Bothersome Questions


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Captain’s Log: 22 July 2019; Back in Carolina, on the way to the coast

She went to Paris…

…and Normandy and Oxford and London.

A White Sport Coat And A Pink Crustacean
Image courtesy of Amazon.com
Today’s tropical tune from Jimmy Buffett is a classic – “He Went To Paris.” It was first released on his 1973 album A White Sport Coat and a Pink Crustacean. What a great song! The protagonist in the tune – the proverbial “he” – takes off for Paris searching for “answers to questions that bothered him so.” Sort of a self-discovery getaway. As the song progresses, those questions get pushed aside and even forgotten as life takes its course. He falls in love with the Paris lifestyle, which “put his ambitions at bay.” About five years later, he goes to England as a pianist and starts a family. Twenty years pass as the “quiet and clean country living” there seems to suit him well. Then war comes and robs him of his wife and son, and leaves him “with only one eye.” It is then that our subject remembers the questions that drove him to Paris to begin with. Again, he is prompted to leave in search of his answers. So, he drops everything and lives out the remainder of his days as simply as possible down in the islands. As the song concludes, our wanderer admits that amidst the good and bad, he’s lived a good life.

We never know for sure what his nagging questions were or if they remained forever unanswered. It seems, though, that maybe the answers weren’t that important, and instead, the questions themselves launched him on a life’s journey, “some of it magic, some of it tragic,” that, in hindsight, proved worthy of living.

Aren’t our lives just that? An endless quest for discovery? 

Question mark PNGI always chuckle inside when I hear someone say they are going off in search of him/herself. Dude, you’re not going to find you. At least not all of you. What would happen if you were to find yourself anyway? I think there would be an incredibly brief moment of joy followed immediately by disappointment that the whole expedition is over. Inevitably, that age-old question that seems to stump all who encounter it (at least for a while) rears its troublesome head. “What now?”

If you stop there, life is over. Done. Kaput. Seems a little worse than tragic. If you decide to journey on, you’ll need to find yourself all over again. We change a little with each new experience. The more we are exposed to, the more we are engaged in, the more we grow and change. With that first step, the “you” you just discovered might be a little different than the “you” you’ve just become. After a few more steps, “you” have certainly changed. Pretty soon this would become an endless cycle of lost and found.

Come to think of it, maybe this is what we do, whether we claim we have gone in search of ourselves or not. Maybe this is our life’s unending mission.

One truth from all of this postulating on the meaning of life is this: If you think you are in control, you are sadly mistaken.

This sentiment is addressed early on in Buffett’s song when the young man in search of answers takes off to find them in Paris, only to get swept up in the “French wines and cheeses.” The intent of his pursuit gets waylaid by life and remains thus for the vast majority of his time on Earth.

Ring a bell?

Have you ever thought you had it all figured out, only to quickly learn that you didn’t? I sure have. Usually for me, not only did I not quite have it figured out, I wasn’t even close. Clueless. The Big Guy Upstairs has a way of reminding me who is in control. I’m sure He gets a mighty laugh from watching my ego grow, all the while shaking His head and saying, “Will you never learn?”

Hindsight reveals an amazing song line for me, despite my best efforts to derail myself. It is often in those moments of self-reflection, if we are lucky enough to get an opportunity for such, that life’s truths are exposed. It is then that I become more amazed than ever. And grateful.

I put my daughter on a church shuttle bus in Columbia, SC that was destined for Charlotte. From there she was hopping aboard a plane and flying to NYC and then on to London. She is on the third level of the Student Leadership University experience, aka SLU301. This program is amazing. Students come back from each trip changed for the better. The 301 trip consists of visits to Normandy, Paris, London, and Oxford. Check out their program here.

I’m jealous.

My son has completed all four trips and I can see the impact his experiences have had on him, which is, in turn, impacting those in which he comes into contact. In a very positive way. 

Impressive.

So, my daughter went to Paris. I’m sure she has questions that bother her so. Maybe she’ll find answers to some of them while there. Maybe not. I have a feeling that her experiences will be a little different than what she had in mind prior to the trip, that she’ll be reminded that she’s not steering the boat, and that with each question answered there are at least ten more that develop. It will be a moving, life-changing, exhausting whirlwind of a trip for sure and I’m so glad she is there. 

And I can't wait for her to return home. 

Maybe one day I’ll go to Paris in pursuit of some answers for questions that bother me so. Maybe not. I just hope as I near my life’s final moments, maybe while fishing the pilings down in the islands – that would be a nice way to wrap it all up, I can too say, “Some of it’s magic, some of it’s tragic, but I’ve had a good life all the way.”

Aloha, amigos!

Saturday, July 20, 2019

MMTT4S - "Come outside with me - there's this moon you've got to see"

Captain's log: 20 July 2019 - Still on Earth, but looking up

Go here and check this out, now. Then come back and read my blog.


You know how some things are just too good to only have one or do once? 

Potato chips, fishing, fresh steamed oysters, going to see a Dave Barnes show, Harold Nutall's chocolate dipped Oreo balls, watching Castaway...
Yum!
Well, today is the day we landed on the Moon back in 1969, fifty years ago. I've already written about this momentous event and celebration...thrice. Still, I can't resist reaching into that cosmic chip bag for just one more.


Image courtesy of NASA.gov
Let's briefly discuss the Moon. Our Moon. I find it lovely, mysterious, mesmerizing, and powerful. Plus, it can perfectly illuminate a midnight swim. It has captured our imaginations, and guided our ways. It has inspired explorers, poets, artists, soothsayers, chieftains, and surfers for ages. It controls tides, fishing cycles, migratory patterns, our seasons, and maybe even moods. 

Read this about the Moon from Space.com (after you've finished my post).

I like the moon for other reasons, too. For instance, when it is really bright you can see your shadow. Think about that - you can see your shadow at night, naturally without artificial light. You can actually watch it move when you see it rise or set if you have a straight line horizon. I prefer the ocean, but it works well over White Sands, New Mexico, too. Some say that if you are lucky enough to catch it set at just the exact moment, you'll see a green flash. This typically occurs over a tropical sea from a vantage point of a waterfront or pier-side bar after a few daiquiris. I've never seen it, but I keep looking. 
See the source image
Anything that is so involved with the tides, fishing, and art has got to be awesome. That's our Moon. And we were so inspired by it, fifty years ago we stuck three guys into the nose of a rocket and blasted them into outer space to give the place a visit. Then we did it 5 more times, putting 2 astronauts at a time on the surface, the last occurring way back in 1972. Six trips and 12 visitors total. 

Now it looks like we're headed back with the Artemis missions. Scheduled arrival is set for 2024. That makes me happy, hopeful, and proud.


Today's tune from Jimmy Buffett is yet another homage to our planet's celestial buddy called "Everlasting Moon." This gem is found in Buffett's box set Boats, Beaches, Bars, & Ballads. It's on the Ballads CD, where it should be. Play it at night, outside, as you gaze into the nighttime sky and stare at the Moon's "smiling...laser-painted face." You'll be glad you did. 



Ground control: "Aloha, Amigos!"




Friday, July 19, 2019

MMTT4S - Lunar Lunch, Anyone?

Captain's Log: 19 July 2019, The Moon (imagined)

Image courtesy of NASA.gov
How about a dinner party on the Moon?

It's not that far fetched. NASA is planning a sustained presence on and around the Moon by 2028. Check this out for all the details - awesome!

Still, we are a ways off from hosting cookouts and watching the big game from the comforts of a humble lunar abode. I hope to see that happen, though. Heck, I'd hope to be one of the hosts, but that may be more likely for my grandkids or great grandkids. Maybe they'll Skype me down here on Earth and let me experience the lunar life vicariously. By then, we may be visiting with each other by 3D holograms or better. Or maybe - "GG to young Wally the 5th...beam me up, sonny boy." Who knows?

Riddles In The Sand
Image courtesy of Amazon.com
Today's tune is the 3rd Buffet song I'm using to celebrate Apollo 11's historical flight to the Moon, an epic adventure that occurred 50 years ago. This song is from his CD Riddles in the Sand, released in 1984, and is titled "Come to the Moon." Yet another song about life away from our planet, this tune displays what might be a fantasy of Jimmy's - living on the Moon. According to the singer, it sounds like lunar living may include a bit of solitude and, thus, he is inviting his sweetheart, who he misses dearly, to come visit. After all, according to Buffett, half a million miles isn't all that far in this future, and a starship's about to depart.

Do you ever imagine what lunar or martian or planet "x" colonies would be like? I do (is that weird?). I'm sure my imagination has created conditions and environs that are impossible to produce on Earth, much less on alien worlds. If we ever do populate the moon, don't be surprised if a Margaritaville Restaurant and Adult Community pop up on the shores of the Sea of Tranquility. Would those residences be considered beach houses on the Moon? I wouldn't be surprised if talks are underway.  Not sure I'd want my permanent residence there, but a vacation home might be nice for an occasional cosmic getaway. Just think - you come in after playing 18 holes, having outdriven your longest golf drives back home on the local muni course by cool couple of miles, a full Earth shining bright overhead, not a cloud in the sky, your favorite hangout just a hop, skip, and a jump away - literally. The views would be breathtaking, not to mention the atmosphere, so leave your helmet on.

It would be cool.

Image courtesy of NASA.gov
Frigid, really. At least during the night. The days would be sweltering. According to CoolCosmos.com, the temperature on the Moon can fluctuate from -298 (yes, that's a negative) to 224 Fahrenheit. So, there's that. Minor hurdle. NASA and SpaceX, I'm sure, have that covered.

Then there's the whole oxygen thing. Again, a minor detail that a little planning (and some genius scientists and engineers) will certainly remedy.

Getting there has been done, but is still an issue. Cost, training, timing - blah, blah, blah.

Well, we've a ways to go until "Come to the Moon" is a beckoning we may hear regularly. Until then, though, enjoy yet another Jimmy Buffett song for the summer and celebrate Apollo 11's grand feat from 50 years ago.

Oh, and check this out for today from NASA! According to NASA: "Today at 1 p.m. EDT, NASA celebrates the 50th anniversary of Apollo 11 and looks to exploration of the Moon and Mars in a live, two-hour broadcast. NASA TV will air Apollo 11 programming all week including replays of the original historic Moon landing footage on July 20."


From mission control - Aloha, amigos!

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

MMTT4S - Seven Sisters

Captain's Log: 17 July 2019, Earth...still

I'm a hopeless dreamer. Because of that I also tend to be a closet conspiracy theorist, a believer in UFO's, a dragonfly whisperer, wielder of the Force (doesn't always work), inner Walter Mitty channeler, and viewer of the History Channel's show Ancient Aliens
See the source image
Image courtesy of starwars.com
I believe that we simply cannot explain everything. I think we are beings that must rely on belief and faith to not only to have a meaningful existence here on Earth, but to make it through our existence here as well. We learn new things every day. That should be a priority for us as a people and also for each of us individually. 

I believe we will make contact with aliens from another planet one day.

That is, if we haven't already done so. That's an interesting topic for a much lengthier conversation, though.
Image courtesy of
Amazon.com

Today's tune is the second in a series to help us celebrate our "one giant leap for mankind" as Neal Armstrong put it so perfectly. In the song, Jimmy brings in a character from one of his best-selling novels Where is Joe Merchant In his tale, Buffett introduces us to Desdemona, who believes she can communicate with aliens and, in an effort to reach the Pleiades constellation,  she attempts to build a rocket ship, which doubles as a bakery while "under construction." The song "Desdemona's Building a Rocket Ship" comes directly from the story. It has a catchy bridge that mentions the Pleiades. 


See the source image
Image of the Pleiades Constellation
courtesy of earthsky.org

From Greek mythology, the Pleiades were the seven daughters of Atlas, a Titan. Zeus turned the sisters into a cluster of stars because Orion the hunter pursued them so heavily. Orion, then became a constellation to continue his pursuit of the sisters, which he continues to do every night in the darkened heavens. 

Myths were a way to explain the unknown universe. Science has helped us discover actuality, but there are still plenty of inexplicable events that science has thus far been unable to clarify. So, even though we know that the Pleiades are stars and not sisters, could they be calling to the Desdemonas out there? Maybe.

Is there life out there? Are there aliens? I kinda hope so. It would seem to be such a waste of space otherwise. If we ever do encounter them (unless we, of course, have not already), I hope the meeting is a positive one. We have enough complications with our own species to add another problematic one. I like the portrayal in the movie Contact. Then again, Don Henley claims that aliens are "not here" and "they're not coming...not in a million years," in his song "They're Not Here...They're Not Coming." He argues that we really don't offer much of an incentive ("McNuggets?"). Could be. 

In any case, fifty years ago when we took that giant leap, we may have also taken a baby step in reaching out to some cosmic neighbor from light years away. So, enjoy today's tune, it can be found on Jimmy's Banana Wind CD,  and continue your celebration of Apollo 11's successful mission to the Moon. 
Info book from Banana Wind CD


Adios, amigos! Earth out.

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

MMTT4S - We're GO Flight.

Captain's log: Stardate 16 July 2019, Earth

Houston, give me a go/no-go for launch...

I've been fascinated by the cosmos for as long as I've lived. My childlike wonder of the great expanse has never died. If anything, it's stronger today than ever.

For one thing, the universe is big. Trying to fathom its size is beyond my meager capabilities. But that doesn't stop me. I totally geek out on space. I catch myself staring skyward at night long enough for people around me to start whispering to their companions, asking if something is wrong with "that strange man." I'm addicted to identifying the heavenly bodies that appear in the nighttime sky. I use an app on my phone called Star Chart for assistance. It's awesome and it lets you wow (interpreted as "bore" or "annoy") your family and friends by allowing you to point to a star and say things like, "You see that star right there? Yeah, that's not really a star, it's a planet. Venus to be exact." Pointing out Mars or Orion's Belt for the 18th night in a row doesn't stir my family like it does me. Around day 4 it really doesn't stir them at all, actually. They just accept that I'm weird that way.

On July 16th, 1969, NASA sent three astronauts into space on the Apollo 11 mission to the Moon.

Image courtesy of TexasMonthly.com
While, Michael Collins orbited the Moon in the command module, Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong took the lunar lander Eagle to the surface on 4 days later - July 20th, 1969. These 2 heroes spent over 21 hours on the lunar surface. Could you imagine? That would be 21 of the greatest hours of my life. Right after the seventeen three hours of my wedding and reception, and the hours of my two kids' birth, of course. After the jaw-dropping views and experiences of the space flight, to then skip around on the Moon would just be one speechless moment after another. I'd go now. I'd go tot Mars. I'd hang out in the Space Station. Heck, I'd settle for Disney's Space Mountain right about now.

If you haven't paid much attention to real news lately, which is becoming more difficult to find, or if you didn't do the math earlier, we are celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 11 Mission to the Moon, when man stepped foot on the Moon for the first time ever. There are some out-of-this-world celebrations going on around the nation. This Space Tourism Guide lists commemorative events planned all across the country. If you can't make it to an official celebration, you can do your own thing. Here's a suggestion from Space.com. Here's another from NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab. Radiotimes.com gives a listing of TV, film and radio shows that are celebrating the historic event as well. Lots to do. And why not? 

I, of course, have a Jimmy Buffett offering for you as well. Buffett and I share a passion for outer space, even though when it comes to the grand debate I'm a Star Wars guy and he's a Trekkie. He mentions the moon, Star Trek, Captain Kirk, Vulcan, stars, rocket ships, and more space-related stuff numerous times throughout his voluminous library of music. Today's tune is titled "Beach House on the Moon." Somewhat appropriate, right? It appears on his album by the same title that was released in 1999. It's a children's story, one he probably adapted from a bedtime tale he told his son, Cameron. It's fantastical and imaginative. He sings, "...'teach your children' to go fishing with their minds," and that's exactly what he does in this tune.
Beach House On The Moon
Image courtesy of Amazon.com

So as you celebrate this epic achievement in the history of mankind, take a moment to tune in to this lunar tune, maybe as you gaze off into the cosmos, and let your dreams and wonders carry you to your own beach house on the Moon. And, by the way, that bright star leading the Moon through its orbit right now is Jupiter.  A dimmer Saturn will be following its larger neighbor's trail near the Moon as well. And hapless Pluto is right behind Saturn but you'll need help spotting it. Just in case you're interested.

Aloha, amigos!


Sunday, July 14, 2019

MMTT4S - Fins up!

Captain's log: 14 July 2019, pretty far inland

Dun dun....................dun dun.......................dun dun.......dun dun......dun dun.....dun dun...dun dun...dun dun dun dun dun dun!!!!!!

Image from back of Buffett's
Barometer Soup CD Info Book

Few animals rival our position at the top of the food chain: Lions, tigers, bears, killer whales, hippos, alligators, crocodiles, Everglades mosquitos, Goliath Birdeater Tarantulas, Insane Little League Moms, fire ants. While we have certainly won plenty of battles with the predators on this list, we've been on the losing end as well. Accept for the Goliath Birdeater Tarantula. No human has actually seen one of these things in person and lived to tell about it. Not because they were immediately attacked and eaten whole (that probably happened later), but because they caught a glimpse of a hairy spider big enough to eat birds and their heart stopped immediately from sheer terror. They do exist, though. We first learned about them from stories passed down from ancient talking macaws. The space station has documented sightings as well, which were then followed by documented instances of crew member deaths by sheer terror heart stoppages.

Whenever you invade the habitat of one of these types of animals, you better be on your toes. Paddle boarding the Nile is not smart. Sitting around a campfire eating cooked meat in Tanzania or a subalpine meadow in North America is risky. You're asking for trouble when you invade the stands at a coach's pitch youth baseball game.

Another animal that makes this list is the shark.

Shortfin Mako © Wildestanimals
Image courtesy of sharktrust.org
Today is Shark Awareness Day! I searched the area drug stores for a Shark Awareness Day greeting card, but to no avail. I guess I must be too far inland here in West Texas. Not sure who (or what) I'd send it to anyway. Maybe a hippo. Hippos seem like they'd appreciate a nice card, especially since they are the only herbivore on the list. They must really be perturbed to attack humans when they don't even eat us. A friendly note might go a long way.

A day to promote shark awareness may seem to be a little unnecessary at first. I mean, when I'm sitting on my longboard out in the Atlantic I don't assume that the sharks see me and think, "Hold up! Surfer alert! We're outta here!" To the contrary, I know I'm playing in their backyard. If a great white decides to eat me, I'm most likely a meal. I would not go quietly, mind you, but I know the odds would not be in my favor. So, I don't need to be reminded to be aware of sharks while in the sharks' home.

Plus, accept for the occasional SHARKNADO!!!, there's really no need to worry much about sharks unless you're in their home. Unlike gators that can attack on land and water, or the Goliath Birdeater Tarantula that can fly through space, time, and even dimensions to reek holy havoc on life as we know it, sharks are only adept swimmers. Thankfully, pouncing out from a shrub is not their specialty. Being aware of sharks while hiking through the Rockies is extremely low on the checklist.

So, do we really need a day to remind us the importance of shark awareness?

Well, for me the day actually reminds us to be aware of the importance of sharks. I don't need to give you the details of the shark's vital contribution to our ocean's ecosystems when you can find more than enough online. Check this out from Sharktrust.org.

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Image courtesy of bog.mtgprice.com
In honor of Shark Awareness Day 2019, today's tropical tune is Jimmy Buffett's "Fins" from his 1979 album Volcano. In concert, this song produces quite an amazing spectacle - tens of thousands of fans sing in unison "...fins to the left...fins to the right," and shift pretend fins created by flattening their hands together above their heads from left to right in sync with the chorus. Having viewed this more than once from the very back of the venue (the seats I can afford), I am always blown away that so many people who have been tailgating all day can pull off such a coordinated maneuver. And everyone does it. Impressive site to see. I highly recommend it.

Buffett's song doesn't really refer to the predators from the ocean, focusing instead on the landshark - those guys that spot a good looking lady (bait) and start circling and schooling around her, waiting to swoop in for the big bite - most likely a cheesy pick-up line that drops like a lead weight to the ocean floor. This idea of the landshark has produced lots of interesting costumes at Buffett tailgates and has even resulted in his beer Landshark Lager. When seen in their habitat, landsharks are sometimes easily recognizable - heavy musk cologne, slick-backed hair, shirt unbuttoned one or two buttons too low to reveal a gold chain or 2 that is nestled in some thick black fur. When they speak, their tongues drip honey like, "Is your name Wi-fi, because we have a connection," and "Did you eat Lucky Charms for breakfast, because you look magically delicious." Unlike the actual shark, landsharks are usually just annoying, and watching their attempts during a feeding frenzy is pitiful and hilarious.

So, instead of hugging a hammerhead or leading on a landshark, kick back today and listen to "Fins." If you're in the sharks' habitat, respect them, appreciate them, be aware of them. If you're not, pretend you are. Maybe have a Landshark Lager to help transport your mind to that tropical locale.

Whatever you do, DO NOT think about the Goliath Birdeater Tarantula. Ever.


Volcano
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